YouTube Is Just the Beginning w/ Guest Davey Wavey
PRIDE
PRIDE

Episode 8 · 3 years ago

YouTube Is Just the Beginning w/ Guest Davey Wavey

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Imagine Youtube in the mid 2000s, long before Logan Paul, before Despacito and Ryan's Toy Review, before monetization and autoplay. Back then, LGBTQ voices like Joe Graceffa, Tyler Oakley, Gigi Gorgeous, and my guest today, Davey Wavey, were creating their own scene on YouTube.  Now, in 2019, people watch one billion hours of videos on Youtube every day. It's the second most visited site in the world, second only to Google. And Youtube searches of "how-to" videos are growing 70% year on year. We use YouTube to learn everything. But there's another part of the internet that people regularly visit to learn how to do things they've never done before ... The world of porn. It's hard to get the exact numbers, but surveys and studies suggest that around 50% of all internet traffic is porn. And with fewer than half of US states mandating sex education, with the content mostly decided by individual school districts, and rarely if ever discussing gay sex, it's not surprising that many of us look to porn for our own DIY sex education. Today's guest experienced that and saw an opportunity to make porn better and more empowering for the queer community. Be sure to follow Davey Wavey on IG And to learn more about Himeros make sure to visit www.himeros.tv Your host is Levi Chambers, co-founder of Gayety. Follow the show and keep up with the conversation @Pride. Want more great shows from Straw Hut Media? Check out or website at strawhutmedia.com. Your producers are Levi Chambers, Maggie Boles, Ryan Tillotson and Edited by Sebastian Alcala Have an interesting LGBTQ+ story to share? We might feature U! Email us at lgbtq@strawhutmedia.com. *This podcast is not affiliated with Pride Media. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

STRAWT media. Imagine Youtube in the mid two thousands, long before Logan Paul, before Despicito, Ryan's toy review and baby shark, before monetization and auto play. Back then, LGBTQ voices like Joey Grissepha, Tyler Oakley, G G gorgeous and my guest today, Davy Wavy, were creating their own scene on youtube. Now, in two thousand and nineteen, people watch one billion hours of videos on Youtube every day. It's the second most visited site in the world, second only to Google and Youtube. Searches on how two videos are growing seventy percent year over year. We use youtube to learn about everything, but there's another part of the Internet that people regularly visit to learn how to do things they've never done before, the world of Porn. It's hard to get the exact numbers, but surveys and studies suggest that around fifty percent of all Internet traffic is porn. And with fewer than half of U S states mandating sex education, with the content mostly decided by individual school districts and rarely, if ever, discussing same gender sex, it's not surprising that many of us look to porn for our own DIY sex education. Today's guest experienced that and saw an opportunity to make porn better and more empowering for the queer community. This week we're moving in a new direction and rebranding ourselves. I'm leave by chambers and from Straw media. This is pride. Let's count down together. Fifteen years ago the first youtube video was uploaded. Fourteen years ago, Google bought Youtube for one point six five billion dollars, and thirteen years ago, Davy wavy caught his neighbor masturbating and made a video about it. My name is Davey wavy and I guess I'm a recovering youtuber and now porn producer. How's that for a resume? Really Cute, like maybe nineteen year old guy that lives there and I saw him and use at a computer you never shirt on. So I was like, oh so, yeah, checked it out, see what's going on. That's actually the video that that launched my youtube career. Was I was I was living in Toronto and I looked out the window and my neighbor was masturbating, so I made a video about it. It was like the eighth video my Youtube Channel, and I'm not the only one that can see it. I mean, look, there's an entire city out there and it turns out a lot of people searched for masturbating neighbors on on Youtube. But there is some sort of like keyword alignment and that's how people originally found my my channel, and now we've kind of come full circle. Yeah, you're back to that. Okay, so talk a little bit. Talk a little bit about your youtube, how you came to Youtube, what got you started? On, like a lot of channels, mine kind of had this slow and stead he climb over the course of really the last thirteen years. And when I started, like Youtube was really youtube. Was Not Youtube as it is today, and there weren't youtubers, it wasn't a career path. It was just kind of this fun website where kind of the dorks of the world could go to record videos and, you know, their house or their apartment, and it's not like it was the cool kids, right. It was like the outcast and misfits who goes home after school and like runs up to their room and makes a video by themselves and puts it on the Internet. Wasn't the popular kids, and so youtube was kind of this weird, quirky place and then of course Google bought Youtube and then monetize the platform and then suddenly became a career and people became, you know, rich and famous and it became this whole thing. And now,...

...of course, you have little kids saying that that they they want to grow up to become youtubers more than they want to become like doctors or lawyers or you know anything. It's just it's become this whole beast and that's fun and exciting and ways and challenging and others, and part of me is excited to have been a part of it, and then another part of me is just like what have we created? Yeah, I totally get that. I mean even when I was at pride media, there was definitely we had a couple of discussions about monetization because there was such a crackdown on lgbtq content in terms of platforms like facebook or Youtube or whatever demonetizing them, even when it was relatively mild content. Like I we also worked with cat black a little bit and I know she had a really hard time because her videos were educational in a way and not overly sexual and they were demonetized. I mean, there's just a lot of challenging moments that happen around censorship on the platform. I posted a video earlier this year about it was a documentary. I have a an erotic website called him or his TV, and we do in addition to the erotic content that we make, we also often film documentaries about our projects and we post that on Youtube so people can see behind the scenes. And we did a documentary about Calvin banks, who's one of the models that we've worked with, and in particular it was exploring his experience with childhood sexual abuse, as his father abused him as a young child, and he talked really openly about that and about how it's impacted his career and porn how it's impacted his relationships and how it's impacted his life in general. and to hear a man openly talk about abuse is that it's not a story that we get a lot of. It's definitely underrepresented and when I posted that video there was a really strong response from the audience, positive response and people who said Wow, this gives me cards to tell my story to. I see myself in this, and I think it was within like forty eight hours the video had been posted on a lot of blogs and accruede a lot of views and youtube removed the video for being offensive and it took about three days, I think, for it to for that video to come back online, and in that time you know all the blogs that had written about it. Like the video players are just playing. You know something that says this video has been removed, and I think the message it sent to those survivors was look, your story isn't worth being told. It was really frustrating. I know that that Youtube's message is not that, you know, the survivors of sexual abuse should be silence, but that was the message that that the implementation of their policies was sending and and to have been so intimately involved in Youtube for so many years to see that happen was just really frustrating. Even through constant struggles with censorship and demonetization, Queer youtubers continue to have a profound effect on lgbtq youth. If we're proud and open about who we are as queer people, it makes it so much easier for those who may be struggling to share in that pride. I think the highest moment is going to youtube conferences for people that don't know. There are conferences all across the country and around the world where crators get to meet their audience and, especially when you're looking at lgbt content, it's really powerful to see, especially the younger folks that that are tuning in. And when I look at the world today, it's easy to recognize that there is huge and massive problems that were facing. But when you look at some of these young queer kids with purple hair and, you know, Nail Polish and really expressing themselves and and and authentic real way, you know these are kids that, like, are so proud to be who they are. They're not fighting for their like existence to survival, especially in, you know, countries like the US. They're just really out and proud and I really...

...think these kids are going to move mountains and and they need to because of the world that we're handing them. I think. I think when I see them, it gives me a lot of hope. So that's that's a high point. In the current political climate in the United States, it feels like we make huge bounds towards progress one day and then get knocked back the next. It's a roller coaster. On the one hand, we have some amazing first look at. Last year Daniel a viga became the first openly transgender presenter at the Academy Awards and Jared Polis became the first openly gay governor in Colorado. On the other hand, last year the Supreme Court upheld Mississippi's sweeping bill to deny rights to gay and Trans People, and every year more so called religious freedom laws are introduced. Well, so there's there's my audience and then there's the rest of the world. And I think because of the content that I make, which is not caddy, it's not mean, it's not bitchy, it's about celebrated yourself, it's about celebrating your sex and your sexuality, the people who are attracted to that message are really like minded. They're people who kind of get it and and we're on the same page. The larger world, I think, is a bigger question and how my content sits with other people, especially in, you know, the context of the current administration and the changes that you know, we see on on Youtube and, you know, Tumbler removing porn and like craigslist removing personal ads. It feels like the world around us is becoming each day more and more like the handmaid's tale. So that's really unfortunate. But I think the core group of people who tune in have have really stepped up and I really appreciate and grateful for my audience, and it's because of this loyal and engaged audience that himrows TV, Davy wavy's newest project, can exist. More about that in a minute. Youtube is always been a place for self expression but, as we heard earlier, censorship makes it hard, especially for lgbtq voices. With that in mind, making the transition from Youtuber to porn producer was clearly the next step for Davey wavy on Youtube. I've always made the contents that I'm passionate about and when I was twenty three years old making content, I was passionate about coming out and self celebration and you know, I was at the place in my life that you would be as a twenty three year old out gay man. Now I'm thirty six and the things that I'm passionate about, the things that interests me, have shifted and have evolved. Now, at this point in my life, I'm interested in sex and sexuality, and so that's what I continue to make content about. For all the reasons I mentioned before, hosting that content on Youtube is becoming increasingly challenging, so it seemed necessary to launch my own platform, which I did through the form of him rose TV. Without the restrictions on Youtube, we could show you know, we can show nudity, we could show sex, we can show intimacy, we can show pleasure. We don't have to worry about what people think or advertisers. Because it's subscription supported. People join it as a membership and and we could really take a deep dive into the content that I really want to tackle. And because it's supported through the subscriptions, we can do it in a way that is much more cinematic, much more beautiful than we're able to do on Youtube, where you have such limited resources. So we can hire queer directors and artists and musicians and cinematographers and sex coaches and really collaborate on making content that, for me, really feels like the next evolution and Gay Horn. I think. I think for a lot of us it's specially as gay men.

In the absence of any meaningful sex education, we turn to porn to learn about sex and we have to remember that like porn is very good at what it does. I Love Porn, but porn's designed to arouse you, is not designed to teach you about pleasure or what feels good and and if you emulate what you see in porn in the bedroom as like, admittedly, I did for many years, you're going to have, you know, not so great sex. The thing is not so great, sex still feels still feels pretty good, so you're still happy to have it, like, no complaints. But there's so much more to sex than what we see like on Sean codycom. So the idea was, can we create erotic content? We create porn that is constructive to one's experience of sex and sexuality? Can you watch a video and and take a technique or a strategy or a game that you can play with your lover? Can you take something from that and apply it to your to your own sex life? And so that's so that's what we've done and you know, it was kind of a question of if that's possible, and I think the answer is yes. Some people are excited and how our content is different from Seawan codycom and then and then other people are frustrated in the ways that it's different because it doesn't follow that formula that we've been fed, like over and over and over again, toys go into a room and this happens and then this happens and like we even know where to fast forward if we want to see the money shot. Like that's not the content that we're creating and I'm really excited by that. And and I think we're kind of finding our audience who's like yeah, porn is great, but I need something more. And this is where the educational aspects of Ameros come in. But don't be fooled, this isn't the sex education you may have sat through in your ninth grade health class. By being erotic and realistic, engaging and dynamic, Hemeros is really porn plus. So what makes it different? And it's done, though, in a way that's like it's not preachy, it's not in your face, it's more subtle. Like it's a lot more fun to watch someone practicing like masturbation stroke techniques, demonstrating that through a porn that's like super hot, than it is for someone on Youtube to like demonstrate that on a banana, you know, and and for you to try to take something away from that. And actually the research shows that whatever state you're in when you're learning, when you're in that state again, it's easier for you to recall it. So if you're aroused watching something, when you're in a state of Arousal, it's easier for you to access that same information. So so that's what that's what we're trying to do. And it also means, like, on one hand, we work with a lot of the porn stars that my audience knows and loves, people that have men on my youtube channel, like you know, like the Calvin banks or the Blake Mitchell's of the world. But it also means working with people who are reflections of my audience. If you're sixty years old or seventy or eighty and you log on to the site and you just see a bunch of twenty year olds with six packs and, you know, nine inch Dicks, then there's part of you that might think the the sort of sexual ecstasy that these guys are embodying is not available to me as an eighty year old man. So and one of the models on our site is is eighty four years old. We recently filmed with a guy who's quadruplegic in a wheelchair. We film with guys that really represent the spectrum of of what it means to be a gay man and what does it mean to be a queer person in the world today? There is no single answer and that's the point. So every every project is a little bit different. We recently filmed in Sweden, just under the Arctic Circle,...

...and that shoot was specifically with Porn Stars, and so I worked with a sex and intimacy coach named findeer heart on a project that was based on the four cornerstones of eroticism and we knew was going to be a four day shoot and so each day was a focus on the different a different cornerstone. So, for example, day one was all about the element of anticipation and how you can use anticipation to have better sex. So in the morning there was a workshop for ninety minutes that all the models participated and where they talked about anticipation and their experience with it and how you can use that for better sex. And then throughout the day we filmed three different videos, also based on anticipation, and so there's a sex coach there to to support the models. There's a crew there of lgbt people that are creating the content. And then once the four day shoe ends, each of the models is given an aftercare package of five therapy sessions where they can continue to process some of the things that that maybe came up for them during the shoot, because we don't want to just like film something and then walk away from it and and like have these models you know, like some of the stuff that comes up is very real and emotional and sometimes, you know, people get in touch with with things inside themselves that need processing. Usually when a model goes to a shoe they're asked to play a character, and here we're asking them to play themselves, which is in a lot of ways a lot more challenging than playing a character. Requires Vulnerability. So that would be like an example one project. And then on the other hand, in September we're shooting a project with nine men. We had an application process of people who have no porn background but that really felt like they weren't being represented and Gay Erotica and people who really wanted to put like walk the walk and and and be a part of it. So we had tons of applications come in. We comb through them, we picked our nine favorites, and so those men will be flying to retreat center in upstate New York for five day Tantrick retreat, of which will also be filming some some videos as components of that. So each project is really is really different. We also usually have like a second crew who captures a documentary element of each shoe. We want to just be recording what's going on and often we can edit that down and ways that are shareable on Youtube. Of people can tune into what we're doing. But it's a very different approach than just like flying into models, renting a hotel room and, you know, and telling them to, you know, go bang on the bed, which is still high. I still enjoy watching those videos, but, like I also want something that's more. I want something that's authentic, I want something that's real, I want something that's constructive, I want something that demonstrates pleasure in connection and intimacy. So it's a challenge and we're always evolving the process and, like I said, no, no two projects are like instead, Camaros TV is a given take an exploration into what it's like and what it can be like when we open ourselves to all things pleasurable, both in fantasy and in reality, and when we can truly see ourselves as sexy and desirable and lovable. It's funny because, as much as I'm making this content for my audience and for other people, I'm really making it also for myself. Like I think it's so important for me to teach other people that there are to show other people that they're fuckable, because it's something that I'm still learning myself and and the work that we do has such a personal impact on my own growth in my own evolution. Hasn't been anyone in particularly. Obviously...

...it's the name names, but anyone's story that really resonated with you. You know, there was a man who who reached out recently who was eighty years old and he had been involved in the Catholic church his entire life and like running a Catholic bookstore, and he had never had sex because he thought it was a sin. And and then finally, at age eighty, he was like, you know what this is? This is a bunch of crap. Like I am who I am and like I may not be young, I may not be muscular, I might not look like the typical porn star, but I want this, I want this for myself, like I believe that that I am I'm lovable. And and he reached out and he couldn't afford a membership, so we gave him a complimentary membership to check out the site. But he was just he was so excited to see reflections of himself on the site and he was so excited to kind of, at eight years old, dip his toe into this, into this world. And and and our message was, yeah, like you, you are desirable, you are fuckable, like pleasure is not something that's just available to porn stars. It's it is our birthright and it takes all of us. We all have a different path of getting there. His took a little bit longer than some others, but I'm glad that what we've done has been a part of his journey. How did you like your family? Like when you went to tell your mom? Were you like, so, I'm still making videos, but they're a little different than they used to be. Like how did that go that, like coming out process? My mom was really uncomfortable with the content that I was creating, even when it was on Youtube, and I remember the instant where it changed, which was I was in provincetown and this young, like college student came up to me and he had like traveled like all across Massachusetts, like up to the Cape, because he just wanted to come and say thank you. And he had been like kicked out of his home, he had been distowned by his parents and he had managed to pull his life together and he had received a full scholarship to college and in some small way, whatever it was, my videos had had helped him like through that process and as he was telling me that, I was, you know, grateful and I gave him a hug and I looked over and my mom was just like completely in tears and I think it was the moment where she got that okay, like, yeah, he's shirtless a lot, yeah, he talks about sex a lot, but there's also something else that's going on here that she has, you know, like a cisgender straight woman from the suburbs of r island, wasn't necessarily like plugged into. I think she started to get what she didn't get and she's really given me both my parents have really given me the space to find my own voice, to express it. She's also my bookkeeper, so I think she says, as long as she sees that like, like it's a profitable venture, then then she's like, you know, on board with it. So yeah, they used to be. They used to be very Catholic and very conservative, and now they are neither. You know, honestly, the when I first came to La to work for at the time pride meet while was here media at the time for out magazine and advocate and all of those brands. We came to La Pride before that. Was Me and my boyfriend and we were walking around. I think it was the year that Demilovado like saying she was like seeing on a car. But Anyway, long story short, I walked by you and stopped because I had seen you on Youtube and, like you know, it was kind of new to the media landscape at that time. Why I had worked, you know, for boring things. But Anyway, I stopped you and said Hey, are you Davy wavy, and you were like yeah, and I was like, can I get a Selfie? And I still have it, so I'll DMIT team. So that's funny. Yeah, so cute. Yeah, and you were like yeah, sure, and I think that's also the thing about...

...like Youtube content is it feels very personal, like you wouldn't go up to someone that you see on TV and ask for a Selfie, you know, or someone that's like in film. But like on Youtube we're talking to our audience like we're our audience is inviting like us into their home. They're watching US under the covers and their bed room, like it's a very intimate and personal relationship, and so I love those moments where it's just like it's kind of like bumping into a friend. Is like what it feels like. Oh Yeah, I know this guy, like hey, what's up, how you bad? Yeah, it did. I think my boyfriend at the time was like do you know him, and I was like no, yeah, I've seen it before. Yeah, but yeah, so where can everyone stay connected with you? Follow you where? Or should they follow you? Yeah, well, of course, if you search on Youtube, if you search Davy Wavy, you will see a lot of my stuff, and on twitter the Davy wavy and then, of course, what I'd really love is for folks to go to him rose dot TV. It's him ERS DOT TV, and if you go to him Rosat TV, forward slash pod, you'll save twenty percent off a membership and we'd love to have you part of the the community. Amazing. Thank you so much for doing this. I really appreciate it, although it's not seven am there, so I was going to say thanks for canning up so early, but you didn't get up. So wear though though, though, but I appreciate. I appreciate that you did. It's a thank you. Thank you so much for joining us today. I hope you can take home some of that self love and empowerment and also, may be, a subscription to some really top notch erotic content. If you don't know Davy wavy or Himose TV, now is definitely the time and remember you are lovable and desirable and, as Davy said, pleasure is your birth right. Follow us on all social media at pride and you can follow me at Lea by chambers. Pride is produced by me LEA, by chambers, Maggie Bowls and Ryan Tillotson. It's edited by Sebastian Alcohola. Join US next week when we talk to the Amazing Harvey Gian from the new F X show. What we do in the shadows.

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