Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist
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Episode · 1 year ago

Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Trixie Mattel- Elastic Thinking- In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew welcome world-famous drag queen, star of the hit show “UNHhhh” and host of the podcast The Bald and the Beautiful, the hilarious Trixie Mattel. The three have a fascinating conversation on the topic of elastic thinking, what exactly it means and how it can help us to heal. Alec and Matt share how they have overcome trauma in their own lives and the tools they’ve used to build personal resilience. Trixie opens up about her abusive childhood including the surprising story of where the name Trixie originated. Trixie also opens up about the generational and cultural trauma that impacted her upbringing and about being half Ojibwe and yet also feeling culturally white. Trixie shares how her drag persona is her fun vessel that enables her to live the life she has always wanted- dressing up pretty and playing with easy bake ovens. Trixie’s raw honesty and biting humor make this episode a must-hear and she will inspire you with her strong belief that whatever happens to us, we all have the choice to become victims or become survivors and to empower ourselves to create a life we love.Listen, subscribe and review to Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist:  http://bit.ly/HotMessAPPLE  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm excited to tell you about a great podcast I can't get enough of, with acturing comedian Alec MAPPA, along with Professional Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey, called ALEC MAPPA hot mess with Matthew Dempsey, psychotherapist. This laugh out loud podcast explores the pursuit of mental health and wellness in a hilarious and compassionate way. Everyone's trying to survive in a world that's turned upside down, but beneath the surface we're all a hot mess and the healing process can trigger intense feelings. In each episode, Alec and Matthew Zero in on an issue of the day to compare and despair uncertainties, anxiety of social media, body image, aging in a youth obsessed culture and unaddressed conflict that maybe holding you back. I'm about to play you a clip of hot mess with the world famous drag Queen, Star of the hit show Uh Huh, and host of the podcast the bald and the beautiful trixie motel. The three have a fascinating conversation on the topic of elastic thinking, what exactly it means and how it can help us to...

...heal. Trixie opens up about her abuse of childhood, including the surprising story of where the name Trixie originated. Trixie also opens up about the generational and cultural trauma that impacted her upbringing and about being half ojibway while also feeling culturally white. trixies raw honesty and biting humor make this episode a must here. While you're listening, be sure to follow, subscribe and Review Alec Mappa Hot Mess With Matthew Dempsey, psychotherapist, on apple podcasts or whatever you get your podcast. Matthew, is there anything that you weren't allowed to do as a kid that you let yourself do now besides have sex with men? Wow, that's the biggest one. That's the biggest one. Is A kid. He did that a lot as a kid. Yeah, as a way, as a way of reparenting yourself. Yeah, I would say two things. Is just one that I would that there really wasn't my I didn't come from a family that was very emotional or talked about like to too much and kind of like deep rich emotionally. So that's kind of why I do what I do and also why I try to put that out there for anybody else who might...

...not have that and then, yeah, absolutely, just being gay and not being able to talk about those things. So I do get therapy and it hits both notes. Talking about elasticity, like I've learned, you know, growing up someone will be like I'd have a friend in high school who was like wrecked because her dad yelled at her. And you know, on the inside I'm like king a break, Mary, like yeah, yelled at you. That's it right. And I guess that's when I started to realize it's never like the trauma Olympics. It's never the whole situation is worse because, speaking to elasticity, some people don't bounce back the shame as other people. HMM, some people maybe don't have the tools of the outlets to sort of like let things pour over in a way that works for them and for me, I just I mean, I really just think I've looked out like I'm probably a little pricklier than most people. I'm a little harder to get close to, maybe, but I think I am lucky that. I I think elasticity does a good word because you can acknowledge times you were stretched or like that was a tight you know, but you can also acknowledge that you can...

...bounce back. It goes both ways. It's not about putting a blind spot in your life to everything bad that ever happened to you. Yeah, it's about almost like the universe being big and everyone's problems being real and being true. Being hurt or something bad happened to you. It's not even unique. Sort of what bonds is all together. You know, like therapist told me, gave me an exercise, because you focus too much on the negative. So anytime you're having fun, I want you to say out loud this is fun, this is fun, I'm having fun, this is fun, as a way of focusing. But so the next wee I came back and he's like, well, how to go this week and I said I said it a lot, and he guys, when did you say it? I said whenever I was eating. This is fun. I'm obsessed with you having sex and going this is fun, this is fun, this is fun. Yeah, it's also very like a housewives thing or something to go like to like sit down at Brunch and be like, this is fun, this is fun,...

...this is Wright. A quick question for you. Ricks anturum gotten a travel on CNN because he said that Christians came to America and there was nothing here except the native Americans. And and he's like there's role such. Oh, yeah, and what he said there wasn't any native American culture in American culture. I was like, I mean every lake, every state that's named after a native American tribe, not the name of every city. Yeah, every city. So you're you're a jibway and not too many people know that about yeah, yes, now, how did that culture inform you growing up? Can you tell us a little bit about about that? The native Americans out of you? Well, it's interesting, Alec, because, I mean, the most anti racist thing you can do is acknowledge the system. And because my skin is white. I went to a quite school, white friends, I listen to country music, my favorite shows the office. Like, I am culturally very white, and only as an adult that I really maybe start to realize certain things. I mean, a family of alcoholism, a...

...family being dirt poor. This is all part of a system, yes, that harmed native American people. Uh Huh. And because my skin is white and I have the fortune, unfortunately, of being treated like a white man in America. Only recently, I would say, with talking more to my mom and maybe thinking more about my grandma and I was just talking to my mom about being good of American and how she feels about it because, you know, spiritually we don't believe the earth as a turtle or the moon is it wolf. I mean that's all a little hokey pokey for us. But there's certain things about being native American, good and bad, that we have inherited that we don't really notice. Bad things like, you know, being poor, I mean being American. Ask anybody. Go to the reservation. Yes, it's gorgeous, it's the water is clear, the sun is out. So a lot of hardcore social problems and people are basically stuck in the...

...corner of a state and the rest of the world just doesn't look at them. I mean, yeah, the mental problems, the Substance Abuse, psycho U Pill I mean it's horrible and and you don't really realize it because you don't think about it. And as a child, though, is great. I mean my grandma was. We don't we had great knit of American meals whatever. There's a lot of things we do include, like in my family, when someone dies we do certain religious practices at funerals that we still do. But again, we're sort of a half white, half bid of American family. So we'll read the rosary at our funeral, but then when we're bearing the casket, will throw tobacco on the casket, which is like a o jibwey thing, so we kind of do a mix. That's awesome. Yeah, I thought. But I like what you were saying also about the fact obviously there are certain privileges, you know, passing his way, those kinds of things that you've been able to you know, have advance as an advantage, but also the fact that there are still legitimate things as being a part of, you know, like the native American community and having that be a part of your history and your culture. There's collective trauma and so of...

...course there's obviously systems of oppression that keeps certain communities kind of down, and that's kind of, you know, where being poor comes from and all those kinds of things, but also, energetically speaking, in the ways that that trauma gets passed from generation to generation, is a very fucking real thing too, and so that's something that we also harbor and the only way that we can actually be able to kind of like heal from that and process that's we can help break some of that cycle, aside from activism, but also the internal work that we can do is by, you know, calling that out and being able pros to sense in new ways. Yeah, I mean I never really thought about when I was younger. You know, you're my skin was really fair. I'm not full native American, but I mean I remember being in school. I remember people with native American last names or copper skin being treated certain ways and I wasn't treated any of those ways. So I hate to say it, but like colorism worked in my favor as a child because I had a brown mom, but I was treated like a white kid, which, you know, it's a really weird thing to think about and when you're young you don't think about it because you don't understand it. So as an adult you have to go wow, I really lucked out in these...

...ways because the universe treated me like a white man. But in other ways, under the surface, I never realized maybe we were dirt poor because of it. I never realized we have a family of alcoholics because, yes, like, yeah, you don't think about it. Yes, I guess that's the cast system that we're born into. You know, it in the United States. So you benefited from being, you know, passing for the dominant cast while you had brown people in your family. I think that's the next cultural reckoning for us, because I remember driving through the southwest and seeing reservations for the first time and it was like being in another country and it was clear that everybody was just it is onto this land and it's like you're on your own. So I think you're the next sash, little feather. You're going to be the next native America, like I said, like I mean culturally, I also really sell as a white person. I mean I'm in a blond wig play in an autoharp you don't like. Yeah, but again, I never realized when I was creating triksy. Probably be a big part...

...of why this look was so idellic to me is because she is Caucasian Americanized, basically a clown version of that. MMM, because, as a kid, especially, the rich white blond families in our small towns where probably the richest, with like the hottest parents, best cars, most money. I mean, you don't think about it when you're younger, but again, when I was younger I had bigger fish to fry than you know the blonde girls in my class.

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